Meet CF Mammy.
CF Mammy is 39 years young.
She just looks flipping ancient because she has just gone through a 2-week stay in hell hospital with her daughter.
CF Mammy is smiling and positive on the outside, but CF Mammy is being fucking eaten alive on the inside.
CF Mammy does not want to call an ambulance again.
CF Mammy does not want an emergency call to her daughter’s hospital room again.
CF Mammy does not want to see her daughter struggle to breathe like that again.
But CF Mammy knows that her not wanting these things doesn’t matter a fuck.
Because CF is an absolute asshole.
An asshole that turns a common cold into an ambulance ride and 13 nights in Hotel Temple Street, where pinging monitor alarms become engraved on your fucking soul.
So please forgive CF Mammy if she hears you sniffle or cough and proceeds to pick up her child and run the fuck away from you as if you were a flesh-eating monster.
CF Mammy is not doing this because she’s a fucking weirdo.
She is doing this because she desperately wants to keep her child alive and she feels like she and her child spend their lives dodging snot bullets.
You see your ‘touch of a cold’ is my child’s ‘touch of collapsed airways’ / ‘touch of a giant fucking mucus plug’ / ‘touch of pneumonia’, or perhaps a trio of all of the above to keep things extra terrifying.
CF Mammy finds it extremely tempting to never leave the house. To not let her child go to school. Or the shop. Or the anywhere. Ever.
But CF Mammy knows that this is not practical and that her child would hate her for it. And she really loves that she loves her a lot.
So CF Mammy is trying her best to educate people instead.
By begging them to think of others and cover their coughs and sneezes.
For the love of God.
For the love of my child.
For the love of your conscience.
For the love of anything and everything.
If you don’t have a tissue, sneeze or cough directly into your elbow (‘catch it’).
If you do have a tissue, sneeze or cough into that, bin it and wash your hands (‘catch it, bin it and kill it’.
CF Mammy implores you to teach your children to do the same.
CF Mammy is not delusional.
She knows it’s impossible to protect her child from all germs.
But it’s not impossible to protect her from some, with a little help from you.
If you are lucky enough to have children in the full of their health, CF Mammy implores you to think of those children that have a battle on their hands every day of the week.
You might think there’s nothing you can do to help.
But there is.
Your hygiene helps.
Everyone’s hygiene helps.
CF Mammy thanks you from the bottom of her full-of-love but full-of-fear heart.
CF Mammy also apologises for the cursing, but this is so fucking important.